Talk:Andrew Clarke's Work/@comment-76.191.49.254-20180913012552

Andrew, I found your theme story to be very relatable. Where I think you could use some improvement is the first paragraph. I think if you started off with what you're used to eating before school, like the description of food, or just the sentence "Eating fast food was an occasion for me until I came to North Adams where a quarter pounder is the equivalent to filet mignon," it would grab the attention of your reader more.