Talk:Lorinda Kalajian/@comment-76.191.49.254-20180917215807

I think that this is a deeply intimate story that tells a tale of perserverance and the value of working to attain one's goals. I believe that it tells an important story that has important messages but that the delivery of that message could be improved upon. There are a few minor mechanical issues such as misspelling and staying consistent with the current tense being used to tell the story. Overall it was a good story but it would benefit from a little revision.